If I wanted Zeus I would have to share him
by Christos Polydorou
A cup in Zeus’ hand would liquefy, and so I carry the gold cup, I carry the gold cup, to his unreal, divine lips, almost trembling as I do so, even though it has been years I have been doing this, I hold my breath as I suddenly inhabit his personal space, as I am brought to life by the light that surrounds him, that of elderly dying stars exploding back to life. Zeus is everything, I mean he is everything to me, nothing else matters to me, not everyone I have left behind, not the lands in which I came of age, not the rolling hills of olive trees and orange groves and lemons trees and bougainvillea and jasmine blossoms, not the fingers of my mother pushing food into my mouth as a child though it made me, not the spoonfuls of rose honey she spoon fed me to mould me into the inexhaustible, ripening pulchritude writing to you today, to make me oh so encapsulating, a Ganymede among oh so many ex wives, nonetheless, the main eromenos. The ex wives, after all these years, I have learned to control my fury about. However it has come to my pretension that Zeus, away from my prying, obsessive eyes, is seeing other boys or men of my age, I have not met them so I cannot know the wisdom they inhabit, or if they even respect it, or themselves, in all of this. A God belongs to everyone, not just me, I am aware, but this is Zeus. I wake up, and he is there. I fall asleep, and he is there. Powerful and gentle, what is ultimately powerful in his azure eyes is his sadness, his inability to ascribe meaning to his existence, even though he is not only a god, but the main god, the alpha dog, in Greece, today. It occurred to me a few years ago that I ought to punish him for who he was, a polygamous man, simply because I wish to be monogamous, or perhaps it has been spoon fed to me at a very young age that a man ought to remain monogamous, and singular, with a beloved. If I wanted Zeus I would have to share him. To get back to the story that never started, I had considered poisoning Zeus with my cup. But that would have killed him.