Trumpphobia

by Christos Polydorou

Sir, madam, whoever you are, reading this, you are not alone. Trumpphobia has really settled in, uncomfortably deep, where we are used to putting things like hope, and those tiny black and white birds which sing in single file, never. Everyone I know is going through a very rough time, in ways that has affected their lives on an emotional and artistic level. It is quite common, given news about the end of the world, individuals will throw caution to the wind, and before they can say venereal disease or unwanted pregnancy, they have had unsafe sex with a complete stranger. An anonymous hookup, as they are known in urban centres, but don’t worry about geometrical proximity, now there are apps for all tastes available online to get whatever you want. What will it be tonight, my love? Gerber daisies? I’m sorry if a Netflix binge-watch won’t do. Men? Women? A friend of mine drunk messaged me from Chicago before I was even out of bed, and was so cruel to me; my fault, for turning on the pc the moment I wake up; I suggested he stopped drinking, immediately. He blamed Trumpamerica. @POTUS. He wants to build a wall between America and Mexico and he wants Mexico to pay for it. It seems so fashionable, perhaps even necessary, to be internationally famous, and openly loathe Donald Trump. Examine, in your free time, assuming you have any, online videos of Scarlett Johansson on planned parenthood, with her boyish haircut, and the adolescent catch in her throat; she is incomparable, and, in my eyes, one of the most beautiful actresses I have ever seen. Another, of Ashley Judd, which might shock you with a feminism I feel blessed I have finally heard expressed. Meryl Streep’s acceptance award which eked Donald Trump to tweet that, wait for it : that Meryl Streep is an overrated actress. Is this the kind of nonsense we are supposed to expect on a daily basis? Because it is nonsense. It is the ramblings of a narcissistic American man with too much money in his bank accounts and too little hair on his head. One does not require a doctorate in psychoanalysis, although it would be nice, in another life, to put those two together; if Trump had more hair, perhaps he would be less passive aggressive a person. My question, and leitmotif, in this written piece, is is anyone coming up with an app to filter all things Trump? Or will he become synonymous with the Internet? I think if we stop looking, stop listening, stop paying attention to him, stop giving him our time, our moods, our sobrieties, and our mental health, he might actually disappear. So, please, dear reader, please return my kindness, to you…I have ushered here the best of my manners, and my finest writing skills, to implore you, to just, ignore Donald Trump. And maybe if we all do this. He will disappear. And the Doomsday Clock will begin being abolished, unnecessary, in a newfound, bravenew world, of sanity, good-manners, respect, of everything, and everyone; every living thing, and every living person.

 

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